5 Tips To Avoid Being A Victim Of Manipulation

“All that glitters is not gold”… with this phrase we could begin to describe what a manipulative person is. Outwardly they present themselves as charming and seductive beings, but inside they know what tools to use so that people around them do what they want. Do you know what to do to avoid being a victim of manipulation?

Manipulation is sometimes more obvious, sometimes less obvious, as not all people do it the same way. Likewise, not all victims have the same characteristics. On an individual level, the manipulated begins to experience a feeling of loss of control over their life, as if they are trapped or doing things they don’t want to.

At the interpersonal level, the relationship begins to wear out over time, as, when perceiving the manipulation, it will seek to avoid the manipulator or establish a distance. Despite this, it is not always easy to “escape” from these behaviors. Let’s see a little more about this.

Characteristics of a manipulative person

Of course, no two manipulative people are alike; however, it is true that they share some characteristics. We can mention the following:

• They are people guided by the phrase “the ends justify the means”. In this sense, the first is their will, the second their desires, and the third, themselves. To get what they want, they can skillfully order the pieces and make their plays psychologically abusive.
• They are not influenced by what they consider to be “sentimentalism”, nor are they concerned with ethical behavior. That is, they are unmoved by the fact that the other person is going to do something they don’t want to do, and they don’t feel guilty. They are driven by narcissism, hedonism and selfishness, always far from empathy.
• Often, when realizing that they cannot manipulate, they become perfect interpreters of the role of victims  in an attempt to move (and convince).

5 tips to avoid being a victim of manipulation

Avoiding being a victim of manipulation may not be an easy task. However, there are some simple strategies that can help keep the handlers away. Put them into practice!

1. Learn to know yourself, respect yourself and listen to your own wishes

Often, you say the easy “yes” and let go of what you really want to do. In short, you don’t give yourself the opportunity to think about what you like and what you experience in certain situations. Next time, don’t let these questions go: What do I want? What do I not want?

It is essential to give yourself space for self-knowledge, as everyone has their own fears and insecurities that are the perfect target for manipulation.

2. Set no-fault limits

In relation to the previous point, based on self-knowledge and self-respect, it is essential to learn to set limits. You must be consistent with what you want and what you don’t want. This can be complex at times, especially if the person you are manipulating uses your weaknesses to try to convince you.

3. Stay steady in your posture

Always try to make it clear what you think and what you are going to do. Learn to say no. Most of the time, the person who is manipulating will try to persuade you otherwise. However, there is no room for doubts or hesitations. It’s important to speak with confidence and conviction, even through body language.

If the handler starts to get pushy, it’s best to stop the conversation and say you don’t want to talk about that topic at that moment. You must not allow disrespect or apologize for not giving in to their requests.

4. Work your emotions

This point is related to all the previous ones; it is necessary to work on emotions, recognize them, validate them and learn to manage them. Otherwise, they become that weak point we’ve already mentioned through which the manipulator seeks to exert his control.

The arguments of those who manipulate always end up appealing to “ it costs nothing”, “for me it’s very important, otherwise I wouldn’t ask you”, “I thought I could count on you”, among many others. Therefore, identifying how you feel and being consistent with it is very necessary to avoid falling into guilt and fear.

5. Restrict contact

If you want to avoid being a victim of manipulation, try to stay as far away from the manipulative person as possible. If you can’t (for example, because you have a working relationship with her), try to reduce the contact and limit it to what is fair and necessary.

Use “yes, no, I get it” and other monosyllabic answers so they don’t get a chance to start a conversation or get private information about your life. The people who manipulate are experts at reversing speech. So it’s best to avoid giving too many explanations.

don’t think you’re weak

Finally, when talking about cases of manipulation, it is very common to hear comments such as “ he is too weak”, “he has little personality” regarding the person who is a victim of manipulation. These comments take the blame from the manipulator to dump it on the manipulated.

One of the most frequent and harmful cases of manipulation is gaslighting , which refers to a very subtle form of emotional abuse that ends up making a person doubt their own thoughts and even their own sanity.

It is one of the most invisible but most pernicious forms of manipulation, with dire psychological consequences. It usually disguises itself as relationship issues, but in reality it’s a manipulation with all the letters.

For all that, you must be very careful with what you say or suggest, as it seems that people should be this way or that way to not be victims of something, rather than demanding or expecting the handlers to behave as they should…

This position ends up compromising the self-esteem of those who are manipulated and, many times, they end up thinking they are really guilty. The truth is that the environment itself ends up reinforcing the vicious circle between manipulator and victim.