Courtesy Is The Perfume Of Life, The Reflection Of Generosity
Courtesy is, above all, a personal value. While it’s true that as children we all learn basic rules of courtesy and conviviality, the key to making them effective and useful is to be aware of them in order to practice them authentically.
You have to be willing.
Courtesy is synonymous with kindness and also with appreciation for the other person. It is, therefore, a form of universal respect that we all must practice in order to have better interpersonal relationships.
Today, in our space, we suggest that you take this essential dimension into account.
Courtesy, a way to bring positive energy
Something we all realize is the power that small positive gestures have in our daily lives. A ” thank you “, a “how are you?” or a “take care” are rituals that help us so much to connect with each other.
Furthermore, another aspect that we pointed out at the beginning is that, without intentionality, none of this would be possible. After all, to recognize our fellow men, we need a certain sensitivity.
We need closeness and a clear intention to treat with respect, knowing the needs of others.
Next, we invite you to reflect on some specific dimensions related to this subject.
Why are there people who lack courtesy?
Courtesy is more than the set of good habits we learn from childhood. These are aspects that go beyond letting the other pass before entering, thanking, giving up the seat or listening before speaking…
We could say that this dimension is a personal value that not everyone genuinely practices.
- One who is not courteous has no empathy with his peers. Furthermore, it is common for him to prioritize himself, maintaining a proud or defiant attitude.
- Courtesy is a strategy that allows us to better adapt to our contexts. The personality that lacks education wants others to adapt to it.
Pier Massimo Forni is a physician and professor at John Hopkins University in Baltimore (United States).
Among his many studies related to social behavior, his work Choosing Civility: The 25 Rules of Considerate Conduct stands out (
According to Dr. Forni, lack of courtesy can lead to different types of social aggression. In addition, there may be –in some cases– psychological problems or an obvious lack of emotional maturity.
Types of courtesy
Interestingly, there are two specific types of courtesy. Stephen Levinson is a social relations scientist who has distinguished two ways in which we can show this dimension:
- Negative courtesy: it ‘s related to deference and we use it through phrases like “if you don’t mind…”, “if you don’t mind me doing this”…
- Positive courtesy: in this dimension we seek, above all, to establish a positive relationship with those around us.
Positive courtesy goes beyond simple deference. We take care of language, gestures and actions, because we want to give our best to others. Because that’s how we feel good, that’s what we are, and in this behavior there are no hidden interests.
the kind people
Certainly, at one time or another, you have been surprised to find an unknown person who acted kindly, offering help or support spontaneously.
- At first, we were surprised by these behaviors. We think the other is wanting something in return. We believe that this spontaneity and welcoming nobility are not normal.
- However, they are. Gentle, affable and genuinely open people exist and make this world a much better place.
These would be some simple behaviors that would help us to be like these people:
- Use respectful language with emotional openness: I understand, I understand…
- Show real interest, worry about whether someone is okay and whether you can do something to improve their situation or mood.
- Act honestly. Sometimes courtesy falls into the condescension that leads to falsehood. We say ‘thank you’, ‘good morning’, and ask about certain things out of simple obligation, not out of real interest.
- We must keep in mind that falsehood is always noticed.
To offer courtesy, respect and recognition to others, we must be emotionally well. It’s very difficult to offer empathy and optimism when you only feel resentment.
Although we all have ups and downs, it’s best to work on our personal and emotional balance every day. Only when we are well will we give the best of our essence to others.
