How To Live With A Person Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder (LPD)?

Borderline Personality Disorder (LLD) makes life difficult for many couples.

Although it is not impossible to maintain a relationship, it is necessary to take into account certain aspects for it to be healthy and develop in the best way.

But first of all, it’s important to know clearly that  helping our partner with TLP doesn’t mean we’re going to change him.

This disorder needs monitoring by a professional who is expected to improve.

However, it is necessary to know that this is for life. There will be relapses and other times when we forget about the problem.

But despite all the treatment, the disorder will always be there.

Typical behaviors of those who live with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

Here we will discuss the most common behaviors of those who live with someone who suffers from TLP. Many of these behaviors harm the person with Borderline Personality Disorder, causing worsening and favoring the continuity of their symptoms, for example.

We must remember that we are faced with  individuals with great emotional instability and very polarized thinking. Therefore, special care must be taken when treating them.

Therefore, the person who lives with someone who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder usually:

• Threatening abandonment that you don’t fulfill or breaking up the relationship and coming back when the other person promises to change. This increases TLP’s emotional instability;

• Ignore behavior you find unacceptable. Thus, it becomes an ally of the disorder and favors the continuity of the pathological conduct;
• Find balance, letting yourself be guided by the direction that marks the TLP. He feels guilty if things don’t get better, because he believes it’s his own mistake;
• Choose silence, not talking about the problem with the partner  and even hiding everyday actions from family or friends. In this way, it prevents the TLP from being aware of what is happening;
• In the face of problems or crises, he considers that the other person loves him deeply and that the difficulty lies in the fact that his partner is not responsible for his behavior.

None of these ways of acting is right. In some, the person participates in the problem and, in others, he justifies the actions and says nothing, with the consequent persistence of the behavior.

Act like a mirror, not a sponge

It’s easy to end up drenched in this disorder if we stick to the behaviors mentioned above.

Although we want to protect our partner, this is not the best way. Living with a person who has a personality disorder is very difficult and we have to be aware of how we are acting about it.

In short, our goal is that the symptoms are stopped,  that they do not continue.

For this, we need to be faithful to our beliefs and values. We don’t have to allow our partner to do everything just because he suffers from this disorder.

Whoever does this is not doing the right thing, and this needs to be said.

It is a mistake to justify the person’s way of acting. As a partner, you need to establish a boundary line that must not be crossed, no matter what.

Communicate clearly that you are not willing to put up with certain behaviors and stick to it. If it falters, everything will go downhill from there.

Threats don’t work

Talking about the problem is more than necessary for the TLP to be aware of where it is failing and to be able to find a solution.

But sometimes we can get angry and resort to such easy threats. This should never happen, as we will end up making the situation worse and increasing your emotional instability.

Therefore, learn to say “no”, to express what you feel and  never feel responsible for the behavior that your partner with TLP has.

If you feel good, if you want to treat the other person like someone fragile to protect, everything will start to flow.

Keep being yourself and beware of negative behaviors like lying, cheating, or challenging TLP. Remember that your thinking is polarized and your emotions are sometimes out of control.

Acting according to your principles, setting limits and not getting carried away by someone else’s illness will ensure balance in the relationship.

It will be hard, a path full of rocks and holes.

However, if you are truly willing to be with this person in a situation like this, you should be aware of all of the above.