What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to know and manage our own emotions and feelings and to recognize them both in ourselves and in others. Furthermore, this ability implies knowing how to manage our interpersonal relationships.

This term was popularized by Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who published a book of the same name in 1995, ‘Emotional Intelligence’. Since then, it has become increasingly important in different areas such as child rearing.

What’s interesting about this skill is its relationship to mental well-being, self-esteem, and positive mood. People with a well-developed emotional intelligence understand the emotions of others better. In addition, they believe in themselves, want to help others, and focus on problem solving solutions.

On the other hand, people who cannot control their emotional world increase their chances of suffering from certain problems. Among them are intrafamily problems, social relationships, and even mood disorders.

Advice for Developing Emotional Intelligence

1. Know what emotions we experience and why

When we get angry, argue, or receive praise or affection, we can take a few seconds to analyze our feelings and emotions. We must think about where they come from and what they are.

By recognizing them, in some situations we can manage them and minimize their impact on our behavior and mood, especially those that are negative.

2. Understand the relationships between feelings, thoughts and actions

It is very important to know how to detect the relationships between these three components. Often a negative thought leads to negative emotions, and this, in turn, leads to actions that we may later regret. They occur because of the way we interpret what goes on in our mind, forming a vicious circle.

Albert Einstein already said: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thought models with which we created them”.

Therefore, it is wise to be sure of our thoughts and not try to infer or guess at others’ feelings or emotions. In such cases, an incorrect procedure can have devastating consequences, both for us and for others.

3. Create mental habits that support your talents

With this point we want to say that, thanks to our great capacity to learn, we can develop those skills that provide us with greater personal and social well-being. In short, it is important to know yourself more and more.

4. Educate in emotional intelligence from childhood

Everything we learn in childhood becomes more ingrained in our lives. Emotional intelligence is a quality that, learned from an early age, can help us through many of the difficult stages we go through into adulthood.

How to accomplish this difficult task? Here are some suggestions:

• Appreciate the positive characteristics of yourself and others: this can be done through playful activities, such as picking up a paper with a colleague’s name and writing down their virtues. This is an ideal exercise to do in schools.

• Identification of feelings: whether through mobile apps, with letters or with drawings of smiling, sad and angry faces on paper, we can help children to know the traits evidenced by each state of mind.
• Analysis of conflicting or pleasant situations: in this sense, music, stories, movies, series and plays can be of great help. Given the various circumstances that may arise, it is necessary to dialogue with the children about possible resolutions and actions to be taken before them.

Emotional intelligence in different areas of life

In addition to the relevance we highlighted earlier of nurturing emotional intelligence from childhood, it is never too late to hone this skill in ourselves. In older people, for example, it can be used to know how to enjoy each moment and take care of relationships with others.

In addition, it is also a good resource for living more relaxed, maintaining a balance of emotions – and therefore of health – and to better adapt to the circumstances that each stage of life presents.

On the other hand, in the workplace, emotional intelligence also makes a big contribution to personal and collective success. Tools like self-awareness, motivation and empathy can really make a difference; something similar also happens in sports practice.

In short, emotional intelligence permeates every area of ​​our daily life. In order to create the best version of ourselves, in addition to the logical and essential need to take care of our body, we must also know how to cultivate the capabilities of our mind.

If you have any questions, we recommend that you consult a mental health professional. They are the ones who can best help you.